Jesus said {to Peter}, “Don’t be so sure. Today, this very night in fact, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.”{Mark 14:30 – MSG}

This morning, as I’m reading about Jesus’s impending arrest & betrayal in the gospel of Mark, I’m drenched in fresh conviction. Peter never planned to deny the Lord. His intentions were such that ‘even if everyone else is ashamed of you when things fall to pieces, I won’t be,’ {said Peter to Jesus…vs. 29 MSG}.

I’m much the same. I never intend to deny Jesus. Yet, I do…in actions and behavior. For the past 3 days, I’ve essentially done that. I’ve ignored His presence. Forgotten He was there. Discounted what He may have wanted to speak to me. Why? Busyness. My own affairs…my schedule…my agenda & standards.

You know what I do when things begin falling to pieces? I hunker down…act on impulse, push others aside & set my stride. Recently, I read an article about the cheetah with my 9-year-old son. Did you know that this amazing creature, one with speed and agility, rarely gets to ‘keep its prey’ after a fascinating & high speed kill? Why? Because the pace itself…from start to finish, is energy depleting. Usually, in the end, other rivals come along & devour it…and the cheetah is left hopelessly exhausted & defenseless. {The analogy-lover in me took notice} For a second, I saw myself going in for the kill…

I’m GOOD at the hustle & bustle, the grit & the grind. I can reach a goal. I can orchestrate a set of circumstances…I can even manipulate the outcome of things. I can grasp most of the parts of life I desire. I can piece things together & even make it look glamorous.

But, I can’t maintain it. Not with grace. Not with love.

This life, set in high motion is the VERY thing that the enemy *hopes we strive for. And, it’s easy, because it looks good, it wets our appetite for worldly success by making us feel important…it’s intriguing and exciting & it often seems like the life that Jesus would have for us. Yet, it leads us far from our Father & places us on a very slippery slope.

Now…in a moment of divine realization, like Peter, I’m “collapsing in tears” {Mark 14:72 MSG} at the truth that my flesh & heart have failed.

I cry out… “Whom have I in heaven but you? And Earth has nothing I desire besides you.” {Psalm 73:25 NIV}

It is good to be near you, God…so I pray…

Jesus, I’m miraculously awake to grace that saves today…to inexhaustible patience. Thank you for watching over me, while I was still away from you. Release me from the pressure of life, in high motion. Make yourself known to me, as I’m drawn to repentance. Help me know more of the depths of your greatness, your splendor…your love. You are worthy of my affection. Worthy of my praise.